4th Blog

UGGGGGGHHHHHHH. i feel so unworthy and terrible right now! i cant believe how bad i failed yesterday. i had half a mcfatty burger 3 nuggets and some iced tea! wtf is wrong with me AND i didnt purge is like wtf i don't understand my thought process at that time.... why would i do that :( than i made homemade healthy chicken noodle soup, only thing unhealthy in it was the pasta.... so of course me thinking awe whatever its healthy so what did i do acted like a fat ass and ate TWO FUCKING BOWLS of the stuff! oh and guess what... didn't purge cuz apparently i subconsciously i wanna be a fatty for the rest of my life! ughhhhhh OOOOH and than at about 11:30 AT NIGHT i decided to made a hot chicken sandwhich with left over chicken and stuffing!!!!! omfg omfg omfg omfg i actually purged that tho i felt soooooooo guilty!!! i sseriously wanna roll into a ball and die i weighed and i was almost 136....wtf..... why cant i be great....why cant i be worthy of beauty? im so scared right now like 136!!!!! im pretty much starting alll fucking over again..... seriously hate myself I NEEEEEDDD TO BE STRONGER! I WILL BE STRONGER! TODAY WILL BE A BETTER DAY!!! and tomorrow will be full of results :)